This blog is inspired by my stupid as hell ex (let's call him Omar)...lol. What can I say...he adds his own little slice of humor to my life. HE, in turn, was inspired by my blog on red hair. He suggested that I go red like Tiny, from Tiny & Toya. O suggested this color because, while she's not as pale as me, she is very lightskinned. Then we ran into the new topic, which inspired this blog...lol. I hate him. These are all his opinions and I think they're hilarious, so I wanted to share...lol.
Hood Cute: according to my O, chicks that are hood cute kinda don't have a lot going for them face-wise, but they're always put together outfit-wise, so that gives them the ability to be cute. Hood cute chicks have some sort of big body part (ass, boobs or both) so guys aren't looking at their face, but again...she's put together, so she's cute.
Funny Cute: funny cute chicks are the chicks that have a feature that just don't match their face. He used Natalie Nunn from Bad Girls. She's got this MONSTER ASS Jay Leno chin. I've seen the show, I can attest to this. She has a Leno chin. He said "she's not ugly, but she's not cute".
"Big Girl" Cute: I've heard people say "she's cute for a big girl". I guess for example it would be...Jennifer Hudson, pre-weight-loss. I personally always thought she was pretty pre-or-post weightloss. But that's just me. He was a mean ass and said "they're cute from the first chin up".
"If Only" Cute: this cute would normally be a standard cute...if only there wasn't something wrong. Por ejemplo, he said "she would be cute if only she didn't open her mouth and show me the 3 gold teeth in her mouth".
And you wonder why I hate him...lol.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Blog #16 - Red Hair & the Identification Problems with It...
I'm forewarning you that this will probably turn into a vent on ethnicity, personal frustrations (like it's not already...lol) or just a plain ass vent.
So, I want to change my hair color. I want to go red. But...here's my issue with that. I try to look for color idea online. So, I go to the ever-faithful Google and type in "red hair colors for black women". On damn near each and every website that I go to, it says that you have to find your "color tone" to "compliment your complexion. Here's where I have a problem. The color tones are mostly grouped as follows:
So, I want to change my hair color. I want to go red. But...here's my issue with that. I try to look for color idea online. So, I go to the ever-faithful Google and type in "red hair colors for black women". On damn near each and every website that I go to, it says that you have to find your "color tone" to "compliment your complexion. Here's where I have a problem. The color tones are mostly grouped as follows:
You're likely a "warm" if you have golden, olive or dark skin and brown or dark eyes (most Latinas, Asians and African Americans fall into this category). "Warm" women tan easily and the veins in their inner wrists are green.You're a "cool" if you have fair skin and blue or green eyes, you burn before you tan and the veins in your wrists run blue. If you're confused because you sometimes burn, sometimes tan, you likely skew warm.
If you know me, then you know that 1 - I am a Latina/African American mix with dark brown eyes and hair and; 2 - I'm pale as hell, burn before I tan (IF I tan, but that's a horse of a different color...clever. Score 1 for me...lol) and the veins in my wrist are blue for the most part. Sometimes they look green. SO...the question begs: am I a warm or am I a cool? HAAAAAALP!
I've also heard stories that it also depends on what colors you look good in. If that's the case, then I'm REALLY fucked because I look good in every color. Not even being cocky. Purple, green, pink, yellow, black, orange, burnt orange, turquoise, fuchsia...any color you can think of, I look awesome in.
Anyways...so my search for the perfect red hair color is on. Websites told me that I should go see a makeup artist or an aesthetician to determine my perfect color. What good does that do me when my bff/makeup artist lives in Florida and my aesthetician cousin has a baby? NONE!!! And I can't look at celebrity pictures, because damn near everyone with red hair does not look like me. I have yet to see one pale person with dark brown damn-near-black hair and dark brown eyes go from dark brown to red. Not a 1. Where are all the people that look like me with red hair? I've tried "red hair colors for black women", "red hair colors for pale skin and dark hair", "red hair colors for latinas". Nothing.
I digress. Let's hit publish post.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Blog #15 - Babies Having Babies...
Before I get started, let me say that I am in NO way bashing the single parent home. I come from one. I just have a few questions on the HUGE BOOST of single parent homes...mostly due to babies having babies. WTF, bro. I know somewhere there's some chick that's 19 with 2 kids. Why? I have to finish this later...lol.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Blog #14 - New Jersey...
So, you might not know that I was born in NY but live in New Jersey. I somehow wound up on urbandictionary.com when I was googling something and for shits and giggles, decided to urbandictionary New Jersey. This definition here, is the best one I've ever read. Please note that I did not write ANY OF THIS:
____________________________________________________________________
i'm from jersey, have been all my life.
i'm gonna spend a lot of time writing this entry. i'll give you everything about jersey, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
first.. new jersey people are conceited. it's true. we hate everyone else. and we think we are better than everyone else. and we never stop talking about how great new jersey is. then we tell people to "shut the fuck up" when they tell us all we talk about is jersey. i just recently was in the south .. and i can honestly say, that i do think i am better than them. it's not my fault.. it's cause i'm from jersey. my friends and i were the rudest, most obnoxious people there. everyone just stared at us. then we saw other rude people, and i asked them where they were from. obviously, they said jersey.
why are new jersey people self centered? because we have reason to be. first of all, some of the most famous people have come from our state. just to name A FEW.. tom cruise, frank sinatra, bruce springsteen, kevin smith, whitney houston, martha stewart, lauryn hill, catch 22, anne hathaway, queen latifa, my chemical romance, jack nicholson, bruce willis, the four seasons, danny devito .. and the list goes on. not only do we have famous people.. we rank in the top 10 of smartest states every year.
not only are we smart and famous.. we're rich. bergen, somerset, morris, and hunterdon counties rank as in the counties top 15 richest counties. and despite the slums of newark and camden which are some of the countries most dangerous places to live, we have 4 of the top 10 safest cities to live in the us.
and we smell? yeah, we do. new jersey smells like ASS. on the turnpike, between exits 14 and 17. that's like, 5 percent of the entire state.. bayonne, port newark, and secaucus. and the surrounding areas. that's it. the majority of the state smells like trees. because the majority of the state is trees. in fact, three of new jersey's cities rank in the countries top 10 least polluted cities. so shove it.
new jersey is ideal. i live 20 minutes away from new york city and an hour away from the famous jersey shore, (the shore is amazing. you think your beach is better? fuck you. why do you think mtv's true life had an episode titled "i'm a jersey shore girl." because it's the best fucking shore in the country.), and two hours away from philadelphia. and it's a 4 hour drive to washington dc. and 15 minutes to the nearest mall -- 20 minutes to the next, and a half hour to the next. i just counted .. 7 malls within a half hour of my house. find me another state that has all that to offer.
yeah, we have accents. who gives a shit? everyone has an accent. and no, we don't say "joisey." we do say "cawfee and tawk." but i can tell you it's a hell of a better accent than you bitches from the south.
and we can't drive? no. you can't drive. like i said before, i was just in the south. the speed limit sign read: speed limit 60.. minimum 45. what? that's why you people can't drive. who has a minimum speed limit? new jersey drivers like pissing other people off solely because of the reputation. this is what we will do.. just letting you know .. if we see out of state license plates, we'll tailgate your ass. probably because you're doing the speed limit and we want to go 20 over. then, we'll cut you off.. and go slow in front of you. because we can. and because when you go home you're gonna complain about us. we like it, it doesn't bother us. that's what we want.
we like fast things. things move too slow in other states. you can tell that someone's from new jersey by the way they walk. they walk really fast and have a strut that says "i'm better than you."
music scene? amazing. bloomfield ave cafe .. starlight ballroom .. enough said. we have the best local bands, the best punk scene, and probably 97 percent of the country's emo kids. don't believe me? read "nothing feels good. punk rock, teenagers, and emo." count how many jersey references are in that book. and the rap scene? i don't know much about it .. but i know it's there. and i know it's good.
and obviously the club scene. you don't know techno music until you come into new jersey.. SERIOUSLY. "we don't pump our gas .. we pump our fists." just shut the fuck up until you go to seaside boardwalk. you'll probably see some of the trashiest, dirtiest, skankiest girls.. and some of the most guido, gelled up hair, armani exchange wearing boys that take too many steroids and have have too much sex .. but they know how to dance better than anyone you ever met in your life. so yeah, the stereotype that all jersey chicks are trashy, is true .. if you go to seaside. that's pretty much it. the rest of the state is full of confident, beautiful girls that speak their mind. and the guys outside of seaside are pretty decent too.
majority of jersey people are italian.. or wish they were .. and drink too much beer and smoke too much pot. but, we all love eachother. i was at a party the other day and i met these guys that were best friends .. a scene kid, an abercrombie wearing kid, and a ghetto kid. why? because we don't give a fuck about labels. we throw the sickest parties .. in the woods.
what else? giants, jets, nets, and of course the devils. they're better than you. so shut the fuck up. and we have more yankee fans than new york city. come to jersey with a sox hat on .. i dare you.
hungry? don't worry. we have 24 hour diners. a million of them. we also have hoboken which has some of the finest places to eat. and you have not had real italian food until you come here. okay? shut up.
and oh yeah, we say "yo." often. and "fuck." i don't complain that you say "y'all" so don't complain that i say "yo."
to sum up new jersey. yeah, most of the stereotypes are true, probably for about 5 percent of the state. the rest of the state is beautiful. and yeah, we hate you. we love ourselves. wanna know why? because all you bitches hate us. how would you feel if the other 49 states spent all their time talking shit? we deserve to be our own country cause we're that cool.
____________________________________________________________________
i'm from jersey, have been all my life.
i'm gonna spend a lot of time writing this entry. i'll give you everything about jersey, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
first.. new jersey people are conceited. it's true. we hate everyone else. and we think we are better than everyone else. and we never stop talking about how great new jersey is. then we tell people to "shut the fuck up" when they tell us all we talk about is jersey. i just recently was in the south .. and i can honestly say, that i do think i am better than them. it's not my fault.. it's cause i'm from jersey. my friends and i were the rudest, most obnoxious people there. everyone just stared at us. then we saw other rude people, and i asked them where they were from. obviously, they said jersey.
why are new jersey people self centered? because we have reason to be. first of all, some of the most famous people have come from our state. just to name A FEW.. tom cruise, frank sinatra, bruce springsteen, kevin smith, whitney houston, martha stewart, lauryn hill, catch 22, anne hathaway, queen latifa, my chemical romance, jack nicholson, bruce willis, the four seasons, danny devito .. and the list goes on. not only do we have famous people.. we rank in the top 10 of smartest states every year.
not only are we smart and famous.. we're rich. bergen, somerset, morris, and hunterdon counties rank as in the counties top 15 richest counties. and despite the slums of newark and camden which are some of the countries most dangerous places to live, we have 4 of the top 10 safest cities to live in the us.
and we smell? yeah, we do. new jersey smells like ASS. on the turnpike, between exits 14 and 17. that's like, 5 percent of the entire state.. bayonne, port newark, and secaucus. and the surrounding areas. that's it. the majority of the state smells like trees. because the majority of the state is trees. in fact, three of new jersey's cities rank in the countries top 10 least polluted cities. so shove it.
new jersey is ideal. i live 20 minutes away from new york city and an hour away from the famous jersey shore, (the shore is amazing. you think your beach is better? fuck you. why do you think mtv's true life had an episode titled "i'm a jersey shore girl." because it's the best fucking shore in the country.), and two hours away from philadelphia. and it's a 4 hour drive to washington dc. and 15 minutes to the nearest mall -- 20 minutes to the next, and a half hour to the next. i just counted .. 7 malls within a half hour of my house. find me another state that has all that to offer.
yeah, we have accents. who gives a shit? everyone has an accent. and no, we don't say "joisey." we do say "cawfee and tawk." but i can tell you it's a hell of a better accent than you bitches from the south.
and we can't drive? no. you can't drive. like i said before, i was just in the south. the speed limit sign read: speed limit 60.. minimum 45. what? that's why you people can't drive. who has a minimum speed limit? new jersey drivers like pissing other people off solely because of the reputation. this is what we will do.. just letting you know .. if we see out of state license plates, we'll tailgate your ass. probably because you're doing the speed limit and we want to go 20 over. then, we'll cut you off.. and go slow in front of you. because we can. and because when you go home you're gonna complain about us. we like it, it doesn't bother us. that's what we want.
we like fast things. things move too slow in other states. you can tell that someone's from new jersey by the way they walk. they walk really fast and have a strut that says "i'm better than you."
music scene? amazing. bloomfield ave cafe .. starlight ballroom .. enough said. we have the best local bands, the best punk scene, and probably 97 percent of the country's emo kids. don't believe me? read "nothing feels good. punk rock, teenagers, and emo." count how many jersey references are in that book. and the rap scene? i don't know much about it .. but i know it's there. and i know it's good.
and obviously the club scene. you don't know techno music until you come into new jersey.. SERIOUSLY. "we don't pump our gas .. we pump our fists." just shut the fuck up until you go to seaside boardwalk. you'll probably see some of the trashiest, dirtiest, skankiest girls.. and some of the most guido, gelled up hair, armani exchange wearing boys that take too many steroids and have have too much sex .. but they know how to dance better than anyone you ever met in your life. so yeah, the stereotype that all jersey chicks are trashy, is true .. if you go to seaside. that's pretty much it. the rest of the state is full of confident, beautiful girls that speak their mind. and the guys outside of seaside are pretty decent too.
majority of jersey people are italian.. or wish they were .. and drink too much beer and smoke too much pot. but, we all love eachother. i was at a party the other day and i met these guys that were best friends .. a scene kid, an abercrombie wearing kid, and a ghetto kid. why? because we don't give a fuck about labels. we throw the sickest parties .. in the woods.
what else? giants, jets, nets, and of course the devils. they're better than you. so shut the fuck up. and we have more yankee fans than new york city. come to jersey with a sox hat on .. i dare you.
hungry? don't worry. we have 24 hour diners. a million of them. we also have hoboken which has some of the finest places to eat. and you have not had real italian food until you come here. okay? shut up.
and oh yeah, we say "yo." often. and "fuck." i don't complain that you say "y'all" so don't complain that i say "yo."
to sum up new jersey. yeah, most of the stereotypes are true, probably for about 5 percent of the state. the rest of the state is beautiful. and yeah, we hate you. we love ourselves. wanna know why? because all you bitches hate us. how would you feel if the other 49 states spent all their time talking shit? we deserve to be our own country cause we're that cool.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Blog #13 - Current Songs on Rotation
So, I put some new songs on my iPod (which is cleverly named Music of the Soul...lol) and I thought I'd share them with you along with the chorus. Songs really can speak for you. For some reason, I don't know why all of these songs deal with heartbreak and pain and shit like that, but whatever...that's beside the point. Besides...I didn't ask you for your facts and examples, anyways.
Maxwell - Fistful of Tears
I go insane/Crazy sometimes/Trying to keep you from losing your mind/Open your eyes/See what's in front of your face/Save me my fistful of tears
Why I love it: It's Maxwell. End of story. No, really. End of story.
Novel - Fuck with My Mind
You're just so beautiful it makes me cry/You always get your way girl, every time/It breaks my heart we had to say goodbye/I just can't let you fuck with my mind/My tears are bullets and my eyes are loaded guns/I never thought I'd be the one to run from love/I just can't lose when it all comes push to shove/I just can't let you fuck with my mind
Why I love it: It's basically a song about how this chick is mind-gaming him and how he loves her, but he's not falling for the bullshit. I know we've all been there before. I love his voice, too. He's not really a new artist; he had a sound out a few years ago about being able to eat a peach for hours (clearly we all know what he's referring to...lol). His voice fits the melody of the song and I just loves it.
RydazNRtists - Sorry Ass Apology
This is my sorry ass apology/I took your love for granted/So selfish, just doing me/Now I feel like uh oh/Now you feel like oh, oh oh/This is my sorry ass apology
Why I love it: The song is about how he knows he ain't shit for cheating and lying and being sloppy and shit. Even though they know they aren't shit, it's an apology for being a sorry sonofabitch...lol. Not that I condone cheating or anything, but I mean...hell, at least they're trying to apologize. If one of them were my man, would I accept it...maybe. Would I get back with him...nah, son. But the ideology of it is nice. And it's not even a forgive me and take me back joint. It's like, look...I know I fucked up big...here's my apology and if you accept it, okay...if not...I have to live with it because I fucked up. And really...how many men apologize for fucking shit up? Lol
Tracie Spencer - Tender Kisses (chorus and breakdown)
Tender kisses/Blown away/Tender kisses/Gone tomorrow, gone today/Tender kisses/Bye, baby/Bye, baby//I wonder if you ever loved me/Tell me, was I so blind that I could not see/Holding on to the memory/Of the way you used to kiss me/All I ever wanted was someone to call my own/I'll never know/You'll never know/We'll never know/All those tender kisses blown away/Bye baby bye
Why I love it: This isn't a NEW song by any stretch of the imagination, but it's new on my iPod, therefore it counts. It's basically a goodbye song. And who hasn't had to break up with someone before...lol
Wale ft. Lady Gaga - Chillin (chorus and breakdown)
Looking at/Looking at/Looking at me/Look at that/Look at how they're looking at me/Eyes all sticky like honey on bees/Look at that/Look at how they're looking at me//Get 'em all/Get 'em all/Pack it all up/Stack up your funds like a million bucks/Across the pond, they all know us/International, ohh/Driving my car to a foreign place/Looking at me/Now they know my face/We want it all now/We got it all, yup/Look at that/Look at how they're looking at us
Why I love it: It's a cocky ass song! Who doesn't love cocky shit?! Like, really...look at them looking at me. They can't keep their eyes off me. AND I'm international, so suck it! *pops collar*
Wale ft. Marsha Ambrosius (aka the Songstress from Floetry)
I wonder why I sit and cry/Wish I could shed all of these tears/I'm down and out/I'll keep it moving and trying to get out/I don't know to move on/Where I went wrong/Wish I could live with no fears/So down and out/I'll keep it moving and trying to get out/Somehow...
Why I love it: Wale is just a beast. The spoken word at the end of the song just hit me like a ton of bricks the first time I heard it. I never really paid attention to Wale before I saw this video, but it was one of those things that just made me stop and sit on the bed and really digest what he was talking about. He speaks the truth, which is kind of sad that this is the state of relationships (but that's another blog for another day...or maybe THIS day)
And those are my new songs on my iPod. My iPod makes me smile :)
Maxwell - Fistful of Tears
I go insane/Crazy sometimes/Trying to keep you from losing your mind/Open your eyes/See what's in front of your face/Save me my fistful of tears
Why I love it: It's Maxwell. End of story. No, really. End of story.
Novel - Fuck with My Mind
You're just so beautiful it makes me cry/You always get your way girl, every time/It breaks my heart we had to say goodbye/I just can't let you fuck with my mind/My tears are bullets and my eyes are loaded guns/I never thought I'd be the one to run from love/I just can't lose when it all comes push to shove/I just can't let you fuck with my mind
Why I love it: It's basically a song about how this chick is mind-gaming him and how he loves her, but he's not falling for the bullshit. I know we've all been there before. I love his voice, too. He's not really a new artist; he had a sound out a few years ago about being able to eat a peach for hours (clearly we all know what he's referring to...lol). His voice fits the melody of the song and I just loves it.
RydazNRtists - Sorry Ass Apology
This is my sorry ass apology/I took your love for granted/So selfish, just doing me/Now I feel like uh oh/Now you feel like oh, oh oh/This is my sorry ass apology
Why I love it: The song is about how he knows he ain't shit for cheating and lying and being sloppy and shit. Even though they know they aren't shit, it's an apology for being a sorry sonofabitch...lol. Not that I condone cheating or anything, but I mean...hell, at least they're trying to apologize. If one of them were my man, would I accept it...maybe. Would I get back with him...nah, son. But the ideology of it is nice. And it's not even a forgive me and take me back joint. It's like, look...I know I fucked up big...here's my apology and if you accept it, okay...if not...I have to live with it because I fucked up. And really...how many men apologize for fucking shit up? Lol
Tracie Spencer - Tender Kisses (chorus and breakdown)
Tender kisses/Blown away/Tender kisses/Gone tomorrow, gone today/Tender kisses/Bye, baby/Bye, baby//I wonder if you ever loved me/Tell me, was I so blind that I could not see/Holding on to the memory/Of the way you used to kiss me/All I ever wanted was someone to call my own/I'll never know/You'll never know/We'll never know/All those tender kisses blown away/Bye baby bye
Why I love it: This isn't a NEW song by any stretch of the imagination, but it's new on my iPod, therefore it counts. It's basically a goodbye song. And who hasn't had to break up with someone before...lol
Wale ft. Lady Gaga - Chillin (chorus and breakdown)
Looking at/Looking at/Looking at me/Look at that/Look at how they're looking at me/Eyes all sticky like honey on bees/Look at that/Look at how they're looking at me//Get 'em all/Get 'em all/Pack it all up/Stack up your funds like a million bucks/Across the pond, they all know us/International, ohh/Driving my car to a foreign place/Looking at me/Now they know my face/We want it all now/We got it all, yup/Look at that/Look at how they're looking at us
Why I love it: It's a cocky ass song! Who doesn't love cocky shit?! Like, really...look at them looking at me. They can't keep their eyes off me. AND I'm international, so suck it! *pops collar*
Wale ft. Marsha Ambrosius (aka the Songstress from Floetry)
I wonder why I sit and cry/Wish I could shed all of these tears/I'm down and out/I'll keep it moving and trying to get out/I don't know to move on/Where I went wrong/Wish I could live with no fears/So down and out/I'll keep it moving and trying to get out/Somehow...
Why I love it: Wale is just a beast. The spoken word at the end of the song just hit me like a ton of bricks the first time I heard it. I never really paid attention to Wale before I saw this video, but it was one of those things that just made me stop and sit on the bed and really digest what he was talking about. He speaks the truth, which is kind of sad that this is the state of relationships (but that's another blog for another day...or maybe THIS day)
And those are my new songs on my iPod. My iPod makes me smile :)
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Blog #12 - I Go Insane, Crazy Sometimes...
...trying to keep you from losing your mind. Open your eyes, see what's in front of your face. Save me my fistful of tears...
The things we do when we love someone...lol. We become so selfless in seeing the other person happy that we forget about our own happiness...even if their happiness comes at the expense of our own feelings or happiness. But sometimes, that's what you have to do. Being selfish never helped anyone in the long run. But wouldn't it be nice if it did? I wish I could put my feelings before someone else's. I'm not wired like that, though. They say it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I guess they're right...whoever the proverbial "they" are. ::kanye shrug:: C'est la vie. I have to start looking out for me emotionally. Oh well. I just felt like I had to get that out at 4:20am. Maybe I'll expand on it at a later date.
The things we do when we love someone...lol. We become so selfless in seeing the other person happy that we forget about our own happiness...even if their happiness comes at the expense of our own feelings or happiness. But sometimes, that's what you have to do. Being selfish never helped anyone in the long run. But wouldn't it be nice if it did? I wish I could put my feelings before someone else's. I'm not wired like that, though. They say it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I guess they're right...whoever the proverbial "they" are. ::kanye shrug:: C'est la vie. I have to start looking out for me emotionally. Oh well. I just felt like I had to get that out at 4:20am. Maybe I'll expand on it at a later date.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Blog #11 - I Ain't Saying She's A Gold-digga...
...but she ain't fucking with a broke n*gga.
So, I'm sure some of you know, but if you don't...I am "in between stages" aka I'm not working. In between stages just sounds a lot nicer and less depressing. Who knew?
At any rate, onto today's story. There's this guy that lives in another state (let's call this state Illinois* and let's call him Mike*). Mike has been crushing on me since about 2005, but as you all know, I don't do the LDRs. Just not me; no thank you. Not only is Mike far as hell away...but, I...just don't find myself attracted to Mike. It's not that Mike is a bad guy...because I think he's a nice dude and I like him as a friend. But I'm not attracted to him as a potential mate and I feel horrible, because he's always asking if I'm single and telling me all of the things he would do for me. His newest thing today was asking if there would be a shot if he moved to Jersey. I said no because of everything that's going on and I need to focus on me and get myself back on my feet. Then he went on this little spiel about if I believe in Satan because men were put on this earth to provide for women and yadda yadda yadda. Now, seeing as how I'm not attracted to him in a romantic way, if I would have said yes, wouldn't that have made me a gold-digger? Yes? Because I think it would have. And then I would be no different from the chicks in Illinois that he's always bitching about. My other question is: if I WAS attracted to him romantically, if I would have said yes, would THAT make me a gold-digger as well? Or is that different because there's an attraction? Is gold-digging based soley on the level of attraction that is between both parties or is it a universal thing and no matter what the attraction, gold-digging is gold-digging?
On another/bigger note: are we as women, that have been raised by single mothers being nurtured/brainwashed into the headstrong, "I can do bad by myself", Miss Independent, feminist by choice or by force? Is it even brainwashing or are we being prepared and groomed to potentially have to face the world alone, without our male counterpart? Do we even "need" this male counterpart? Does this "Miss Independent" attitude we have help us or hurt us in the long run? Are men and romantic relationships a necessity or an asset? Should women always be subservient to a man, as is in the Bible, or did that work then and Miss Independent works now? I have so many questions on what to expect and what to do because I'm so torn. I would love for a man to be the head of household but in the same token, I don't want to be a housewife or Susie Homemaker. I just don't feel like that's me. But how do I know - I've never had the opportunity to be Susie Homemaker. What if I get the opportunity and love it? Will that go against everything that I've known that women are strong and independent or will I change my view to "this works for me, do what works for you"?
To keep going with the topic but from a different aspect - are men to blame for the general shift from family and the man being the head of household to single mom being head of household and being forced into the role of Ms "I-Can-Do-Bad-By-Myself"? I know it takes two to tango and make a baby...but with a large shift going from men turning women into wives/mothers to turning women into baby mamas have to do with the shift of being bad by myself? Or are women to blame for giving up the ass before he "put a ring on it" and essentially putting themselves in this situation to become a baby mama instead of a bride? Even more confusing...if she IS groomed to be a future Susie Homemaker, does wait until he put a ring on it and she did wait until marriage to become a mommy and she becomes Susie Homemaker (which is what her mother prepared her for) - no outside job - just cooking, cleaning, children, tending to the affairs of the house, etc. and he leaves her...what is she to do then? I know she goes out and gets a job - essentially forcing her to become "Ms Independent". Do you think this would have an effect on her mentality: will she become one with the newly Ms Independent or will she always crave to be Susie Homemaker?
My brain is starting to hurt...lol. Goodnight!!!
So, I'm sure some of you know, but if you don't...I am "in between stages" aka I'm not working. In between stages just sounds a lot nicer and less depressing. Who knew?
At any rate, onto today's story. There's this guy that lives in another state (let's call this state Illinois* and let's call him Mike*). Mike has been crushing on me since about 2005, but as you all know, I don't do the LDRs. Just not me; no thank you. Not only is Mike far as hell away...but, I...just don't find myself attracted to Mike. It's not that Mike is a bad guy...because I think he's a nice dude and I like him as a friend. But I'm not attracted to him as a potential mate and I feel horrible, because he's always asking if I'm single and telling me all of the things he would do for me. His newest thing today was asking if there would be a shot if he moved to Jersey. I said no because of everything that's going on and I need to focus on me and get myself back on my feet. Then he went on this little spiel about if I believe in Satan because men were put on this earth to provide for women and yadda yadda yadda. Now, seeing as how I'm not attracted to him in a romantic way, if I would have said yes, wouldn't that have made me a gold-digger? Yes? Because I think it would have. And then I would be no different from the chicks in Illinois that he's always bitching about. My other question is: if I WAS attracted to him romantically, if I would have said yes, would THAT make me a gold-digger as well? Or is that different because there's an attraction? Is gold-digging based soley on the level of attraction that is between both parties or is it a universal thing and no matter what the attraction, gold-digging is gold-digging?
On another/bigger note: are we as women, that have been raised by single mothers being nurtured/brainwashed into the headstrong, "I can do bad by myself", Miss Independent, feminist by choice or by force? Is it even brainwashing or are we being prepared and groomed to potentially have to face the world alone, without our male counterpart? Do we even "need" this male counterpart? Does this "Miss Independent" attitude we have help us or hurt us in the long run? Are men and romantic relationships a necessity or an asset? Should women always be subservient to a man, as is in the Bible, or did that work then and Miss Independent works now? I have so many questions on what to expect and what to do because I'm so torn. I would love for a man to be the head of household but in the same token, I don't want to be a housewife or Susie Homemaker. I just don't feel like that's me. But how do I know - I've never had the opportunity to be Susie Homemaker. What if I get the opportunity and love it? Will that go against everything that I've known that women are strong and independent or will I change my view to "this works for me, do what works for you"?
To keep going with the topic but from a different aspect - are men to blame for the general shift from family and the man being the head of household to single mom being head of household and being forced into the role of Ms "I-Can-Do-Bad-By-Myself"? I know it takes two to tango and make a baby...but with a large shift going from men turning women into wives/mothers to turning women into baby mamas have to do with the shift of being bad by myself? Or are women to blame for giving up the ass before he "put a ring on it" and essentially putting themselves in this situation to become a baby mama instead of a bride? Even more confusing...if she IS groomed to be a future Susie Homemaker, does wait until he put a ring on it and she did wait until marriage to become a mommy and she becomes Susie Homemaker (which is what her mother prepared her for) - no outside job - just cooking, cleaning, children, tending to the affairs of the house, etc. and he leaves her...what is she to do then? I know she goes out and gets a job - essentially forcing her to become "Ms Independent". Do you think this would have an effect on her mentality: will she become one with the newly Ms Independent or will she always crave to be Susie Homemaker?
My brain is starting to hurt...lol. Goodnight!!!
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