Blog #33 - Saturdays at the Bar

So...on Saturday, I was completely bored and didn't wanna be in the house, so I decided to go out alone. I wound up at Maritas, which is a local bar around my way...probably 20 minutes from me. I went and wound up talking to some guy named Elijah. We had a really good conversation about different things - apparently I dress like a 26 year old, but that's neither here nor there. It was a really good convo. Mr. Elijah looked at me crazy when I told him that I came by myself, I don't have any kids, I'm single and some other things. Why is that such a shocker, I don't know. But anyways, it was fun. There were no assumptions of kicking game, no macking...just honest convo. I saw Tremell, but ignored him.

I had more but this was from like 2 weeks ago and my comp kept resetting so...I forgot...lmao

Blog #32 - The Hell Is Goings On?

I dunno, damnit. My mind is all over the place. And now I'm disappointed in myself because once again, I let my sorority life take over my family life. The first time was like 3 weeks ago when we had our chapter bbq and I wound up not seeing my cousin Raheem that I haven't seen since my grandmother died. This weekend, I was supposed to go to the Old Timers bbq in Harlem but I wound up going to another meeting and wound up missing my little brother. Fuck my life, man. I feel like such a jackass. However, I don't think I can fully blame the little brother thing on my sorority. I definitely didn't know he was going to go. Apparently he just randomly showed up. I wonder how he even found out, because I didn't tell him before he deleted his FB page. Oh, well. I guess I'll just have to stalk him somehow...lol. But Yonkers is kinda big. Might have to call in reinforcements in the name of my sister.

So, the man is gone. He left on Thursday. It was fun while it lasted. We went to a diner and just chilled out and stuff there, and then since it was hot and nighttime, we hung out on the bench in the back of my complex by the tennis court and just talked about different things. We took a few pics (even the kissing one...lol) before he left and that was that. It was really sweet and nice. I'm not even mad at it anymore, not that I ever was. It was definitely an experience I'm glad I had - shows me that there's definitely more than just "ay yo shorty" dudes out there. And being that he's older, I'm pretty sure that's where I have to look. Gotta find me a 27 and up club to frequent to get approached like that again, because dudes my age just don't do that. They suck. I just hope we keep in touch because...I wanna go to Chicago! Lolol...but I know I don't need him in order to go to Chicago...but yeah. It's the man...lol. ::kanye shrug::

So, like I said in blog...I think 28 or 29, me and Mr. Songz have been getting it in. I've been listening to the Anticipation mixtape like...steady. If it wasn't a mixtape, it woulda been a banging ass CD, mostly full of slow jams. Speaking of Mr. Songz and cd's, his new joint is coming out on September 14 (which happens to be my big's birthday...lol). I'm actually going to buy it. Like, go to Best Buy and buy the CD...only for the album pictures, though...lol. You don't get those with digital copies. The album artwork is dopeness and I wanna support an artist that I actually like a lot. I apparently have over 110 of his songs on my iPod due to the addition of 3 of his mixtapes.

In another unrelated/related field (so yeah, I think this has pretty much turned into a random rant...lol), I'm supposed to hang out with my dude Ty in a few weeks, once his son goes back home to Barbados or Bermuda...I feel like he said Bermuda, though. Apparently, I'm not allowed to play bartender though, which sucks. I like creating stuff. I'm supposed to just sit back and chill and let him do the damn drink-making. I've been relegated to just making one beverage. It is what it is, though. I'm excited about it as this will be the first time we'll be seeing each other outside of commuting on the train to and from work. Good times will be aplenty!!!

Listening to this song reminds me that I need to make a slow jam playlist. I thought I had one, but I'm guessing that was on my other laptop, which is clearly no longer in existence. This song would definitely be on there. The song I'm listening to is called On Top. Awesomely wonderful.

I'm going to go to bed now. I'm tired and I think this ponytail is giving me a headache...damn thing isn't even tight. I think it's the stuff I put in my hair making my curls hard and they were stuck going down and now that they're back, they don't like it. I'm gonna use different stuff tomorrow. This is ludicrous. And I still need to order my Dominican shampoo, conditioner, deep conditioner and hair color. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow too and put a rush on it so it gets here on Friday. Aaaaaaand POST!

Blog #31 - He Got Spark & He Got Spunk...

...He got something all the girls want. *dances around*

Please note that this is all drunk blogging. Damn wine got me feeling like Captain Courageous...lol.

So, I been talking a lot of shit the past 2 days about this guy I met on Friday, saying I'm glad I met him and then being mad and saying I wish I hadn't met him, BUT. Right now, at this very moment, I think he's my drug. And he'll continue to be my drug until Thursday when he leaves. He said he'll keep in touch and I don't know how true that is, but why worry about the future right now? I'll just enjoy our time together now...and that time is amazing. Just thinking about it makes me cheese mad hard right now (that might be the liquor, though. Although thinking about it does make me smile...lol).

So, last night, he and I went to Friday's on some semi-random shit. He called me earlier in the day and said he wanted to chill so, I hit him with the "hit me when you're free" joint. Sure enough, he hit me around 9:30, 10ish to hang out. I ran home to go change my clothes because I looked like a straight bum. In less than 30 minutes I went from looking like a hot ass mess with glasses to looking like something...that's how much I care...lol. We ended up at Friday's purely because it was close and it was open and we ate...he bit off of me and had a chicken Caesar salad, too, but that's neither here nor there. We talk about maaaaad stuff like why I'm single; he asked me why I didn't run away when he told me he was divorced, embarrassing stories from our childhood, what are some things that our best friends would say about us and just stuff like that. The conversation was completely awesome. Then he drove me back to my house and we sat in the car and talked some more while looking at the sky and stars...in the middle of kissing like HELL. Good lawd, can the boy kiss!!! Let the congregation say "Amen and hallelujah" on that one. He's supposed to stop by tomorrow so we can go swimming and all that good stuff. It should be fun. My silly ass asked him if he would miss me when he leaves and he was equally silly and said "I'll miss you when I leave you tonight". We're jackasses...lol. I hope he stops by early tomorrow....

Blog #30 - This Is Some Bullshit, Pt. 2 (Now That I've Had Time to Think About It)

So I know in the last blog from earlier today I said that I was happy to have had the experience of meeting Jay last night. I feel like I wanna take that back. I feel like I got straight mind-gamed like hell. I let the guard down all because of a nice approach, introduction, smile and conversation. I wish the Universe hadn't done it because now...nothing will ever be the same and no one else will compare to that. That was IT...the most impressed upon first meeting someone that I will ever be in my entire life. I think I was better off not knowing that it exists because from now on, every dude will have to measure up to that and I know that perfect shit like that only happens once probably once in a lifetime. Not that I'm sprung off of some first meeting shit, though. Stuff like that happens. It's kinda like once you have filet mignon, you can't go back to Steakums. Or, you can, but you will be unsatisfied like hell with that damn Steakum and be longing for that filet mignon forever until you get it again. And then you'll be longing for it again and again. It's a vicious circle. So yeah. That's that. I'm over it now. That was so yesterday. Onward with the dating strike!!!

Blog #29 - This Is Some Bullshit...

It really is. The cosmic forces of the Universe are laughing at me right now because they orchestrated this whole thing after I said I was giving up dating.

So, I went out last night with my friends to celebrate Rob and Ramon's birthdays. First of all, I felt all sorts of ugly because I was rushing and stuff, but anyways, that's neither here nor there. So, we headed to downtown NB because that's where they wanted to celebrate their birthdays. So me, Yari and Jon walk in and I saw my homie D.G. from high school and I went to say hi really quick, then went back and stood by Jon and Yari while two stepping. In the middle of two stepping, I was approached by this tall, good looking guy and the approach was everything I always talk about wanting. He came up, stuck out his hand for a handshake and said simply "Hi, how you doing tonight? My name is Jay and I was wondering if I could buy you a drink." I was so stunned that I just said yeah. After that, we sort of became a little inseparable. We moved off to the seats and just started talking about everything. He told me why he was divorced, we talked about his son, why I'm single, what it is I'm looking for, favorite animals...random things like that. I met his brother and his cousin (because that's who he came out with last night). He was funny and honest and all the stuff that a chick likes in a dude. While we were sitting, Jon and Yari came and sat all between us and he laughed it off because it was funny...and it really was. We were so tight and together that when the JCC boys finally made it, they thought he was my boyfriend and just welcomed him like it was nothing. They just introduced themselves to each other, shook hands and did all that stuff. It was awesome. You'd think this has a happy ending and stuff, right? Wrong. The only flaw of the night: he lives in Chicago. THE UNIVERSE HATES ME!!! It shows me the kind of dude that I've always wanted and throws the Chicago monkey wrench into my plans. BUT...I kinda have to thank the Universe for letting me know that I'm not crazy or have high expectations and the kind of guy that I would love to meet is out there. I'm still giving up on dating, though. But, it's nice to know that it exists, yanno? But...I like that guy :( Oh well...what am I supposed to do except move on. It is what it is and that's all that it is. I hope he has a safe flight back to Chicago on Thursday. I really did enjoy the experience of last night. I kinda wanna have it again. Is it possible to get something that awesome again in a different person? Who knows and I digress. It was very nice, though. I can't wait for Yari to post the pictures.

Blog #28 - Songz, Thoughts & That O Dude

So, I'm sure as you know...I am a big ass fan of Trey Songz. I have recently discovered www.datpiff.com carries a lot, if not all, of his mixtapes. So, of course in order to download them, you have to become a member, which I did. I'm running through them to figure out which ones I want to download when I happened upon the Love King mixtape. Now, the first 3 songs on Love King are slow and romantical (yeah, I know that's not a real word) and stuff, which prompted me to write this blog sort of about me and Omar...sort of about Omar and his new chick (let's call her Mya)...but either way the topic of this one will be Omar. I don't mean to talk about him a lot, because I feel like I ramble on about him...but he was such a big portion of my life. I mean, it was 8 years, yanno. You can't forget that, even more so because it didn't end all shitty and we're still friends.

Anyway, the first song on Love King is called For the Sake of Love. I listened to this song and surprisingly, the relationship that ran through my head wasn't mine and Omar's...it was his and his new chick's relationship, based on some stuff that he told me, I think this would be a good song for him and her. It's basically about how all the shit he does is for them and blah blah blah. It's pretty funny because the other day he was telling me about how she wants him to stop doing something (the same shit I wanted him to stop doing but he's with the same "It's all I know" stuff [eyeroll]), but I'm pretty sure he told her the same thing he used to tell me: you not complaining when you get "blah blah blah or when I buy you x, y and z". So, yeah. I can see him playing this song for her while sitting there and holding her and all that nice romantical stuff (edit: I have no idea why that sounded so haterish after re-reading it, but it's totally not meant in a hater way).

The second song is called Til the Day I Die. This song is basically about how he's riding for her/them until the day he dies (clearly). Again, I thought about Omar and Mya. I could see him telling her that. Particularly because I know he likes her a lot (I think he might love her a little bit, to be honest and he's just not telling me because he might "hurt" me) and all that good stuff. Good song for them (again..re-reading this, I don't know why the hell it sounds like it's dripping with disdain and hate!).

The last song in the trio is called It Would Be You. This one is the one that makes me think of Omar and I. And to be honest, I think the only reason it does that is because one day, sometime after the break up (I think), I asked him if he could have anything in the world, what would it be. And he said "It would be you." It's a really nice song actually and it's reminiscent of discussions that he and I have had previously...and I still feel like this although I don't know if it's a little bit or a lotta bit. I feel like it's one of those songs that I would listen to repeatedly because...it just takes me back to that time. Is reminiscing a sign of depression or desperation?

Sidebar: him and Mya got into a little tiff and now that they've made up...I kinda feel like I'm losing him. Not as a lover or anything romantic...but as my friend. Since our breakup, he's become my best friend (among other things. It almost feels like nothing ever ended, to be real...lol). It could be that or that stupid ass app on his shitty ass phone. But yeah...I kinda feel like we don't talk like we used to before things became official between them. I think if it ever comes to the point where we have to stop talking...I actually think I'd be really sad. That would suck ass, actually. But there would be nothing to do but to take a big girl pill and suck that shit up and move on. But, it is what it is and it will be what it will be.

*goes to listen to another mixtape and hope it's not as mushy, even though I kinda like the mushiness*

Blog #27 - This Weekend's Festivities :)

So, I figured I'd discuss this weekend that just passed.

FRIDAY: So Friday night, I was supposed to go to the Yankee game, but due to George Steinbrenner's death on Monday, all the tickets were gone by Tuesday. Maybe it was a good thing, too, because I got to go to Dolce Lounge. Apparently, I was a smart ass with the bouncer, but according to the boys, that's not really anything new...lol. We headed to the back which is the Latin room on Friday nights and we all know Matt loves the mamis...lol. At the time, nothing was really jumping off back there, so we headed back up to the front to the hiphop room. 2nd round of drinks comes. We get the two stepping and ish started to get popping. They made me dance with some old drunk man that kept singing...it was kinda bad in a funny way, but I just two-stepped with him. Damn if I was grinding on some dude that looked like Mr. Moneybags broke cousin from Cuba. But we had SO much fun. And apparently I missed out on the highlight of the night, which was some HUGE chick falling on the floor. According to Jon, in order to get up "she didn't need momentum...she needed inertia". And he says I'M mean. Pffft. That shit took the cake. Then we headed to the Latin room and got our little salsa and bachata out of our systems. I dared Matt to dance with this other girl who was getting low for him (I think she was a friend of the girl that fell), but he quickly pulled the "you my girlfriend card" out on me and definitely pulled some shit out the bag. It would have been funny, though...lol. But on a scale of 1-10, I'll definitely give the night a 9. I have some wonderful blackmail pics of Matt because he passed out in the front seat, but I will refrain from being evil and posting them on facebook...lol.

SATURDAY: So, due to all of the excitement and fun shit that happened Friday night, and having to get up early as fuck on Sunday to head to River Vale that I wasn't doing shit on Saturday but recovering and being a bum ass. I succeeded for the most part. Mid-afternoon I got a text message from a guy I went to high school with (let's call him Edwin) asking me to go to a house party in South Brunswick or a patio party in Hillsboro with him. I said yeah, but was leery as hell about it. Here's why: based on who he hung out with in high school, we didn't run with the same type of crowd and I had a feeling that it wasn't going to be a black people house party. NOW...before I continue, let me explain that there are vast differences with black people house parties vs. non-urbanized white people house parties. Black people house parties can never be held outside on a patio due to the copious amount of noise that would be radiating from someone's radio speakers (if there isn't a DJ present) so that everyone can get their dance/grind/seduction on. There will be red cups aplenty, sweat, no lights, dancing and probably some food. NOW...knowing this and knowing who Edwin hung out with in high school, I pretty much had it pegged that this wasn't going to be a black people house party and in my gut wanted to say no. But, I said yes. Why? Quite simply...it was something to do. And I should have listened to my damn gut, lemme tell you. So, he decided that we were going to the patio party in Hillsboro...I was hoping for the house party in SB, lemme tell you. I had a slight chance of running into someone I know. In Hillsboro, that wasn't happening at all. And you wanna know what the party was like? Just like I thought it was going to be, but with less people. You know shit is bad when the only other minority girl before you arrive is a Jewish girl. I had more fun getting dressed. I was alone for a majority of the night, playing on my phone because Edwin just like...abandoned the fuck out of me and left me by myself. What kinda bullshit is that. And on TOP of that, there was underage drinking going on and weed smoking going on and the cops showed up. I swear if I would have went to jail for any of that shit I never would have talked to him again ever in life. He would have been SO cut off and deleted. He's damn near cut off now for just leaving me alone like that, knowing I don't know anyone there and knowing I felt uncomfy. Ridiculous. And he's hoping I'm in the mood for a relationship sooner rather than later. Up out my face, boy.

SUNDAY: CHAPTER BBQ DAY!!! That's all I have to say. I love those bitches. We went to Nicki's house waaaaaaaaaaay up north. I'm talking like this bitch lives 20 blocks from the NY State Line. And not NYC state line...UPSTATE NY. DUMB FAR. But, we had an absolute blast. I got to see all of my kids, although not all 4 were there at one time, which really sucked...lol.

And THAT, was my weekend. Friday and Sunday definitely made up for Saturday's fuckery. :)