...but she ain't fucking with a broke n*gga.
So, I'm sure some of you know, but if you don't...I am "in between stages" aka I'm not working. In between stages just sounds a lot nicer and less depressing. Who knew?
At any rate, onto today's story. There's this guy that lives in another state (let's call this state Illinois* and let's call him Mike*). Mike has been crushing on me since about 2005, but as you all know, I don't do the LDRs. Just not me; no thank you. Not only is Mike far as hell away...but, I...just don't find myself attracted to Mike. It's not that Mike is a bad guy...because I think he's a nice dude and I like him as a friend. But I'm not attracted to him as a potential mate and I feel horrible, because he's always asking if I'm single and telling me all of the things he would do for me. His newest thing today was asking if there would be a shot if he moved to Jersey. I said no because of everything that's going on and I need to focus on me and get myself back on my feet. Then he went on this little spiel about if I believe in Satan because men were put on this earth to provide for women and yadda yadda yadda. Now, seeing as how I'm not attracted to him in a romantic way, if I would have said yes, wouldn't that have made me a gold-digger? Yes? Because I think it would have. And then I would be no different from the chicks in Illinois that he's always bitching about. My other question is: if I WAS attracted to him romantically, if I would have said yes, would THAT make me a gold-digger as well? Or is that different because there's an attraction? Is gold-digging based soley on the level of attraction that is between both parties or is it a universal thing and no matter what the attraction, gold-digging is gold-digging?
On another/bigger note: are we as women, that have been raised by single mothers being nurtured/brainwashed into the headstrong, "I can do bad by myself", Miss Independent, feminist by choice or by force? Is it even brainwashing or are we being prepared and groomed to potentially have to face the world alone, without our male counterpart? Do we even "need" this male counterpart? Does this "Miss Independent" attitude we have help us or hurt us in the long run? Are men and romantic relationships a necessity or an asset? Should women always be subservient to a man, as is in the Bible, or did that work then and Miss Independent works now? I have so many questions on what to expect and what to do because I'm so torn. I would love for a man to be the head of household but in the same token, I don't want to be a housewife or Susie Homemaker. I just don't feel like that's me. But how do I know - I've never had the opportunity to be Susie Homemaker. What if I get the opportunity and love it? Will that go against everything that I've known that women are strong and independent or will I change my view to "this works for me, do what works for you"?
To keep going with the topic but from a different aspect - are men to blame for the general shift from family and the man being the head of household to single mom being head of household and being forced into the role of Ms "I-Can-Do-Bad-By-Myself"? I know it takes two to tango and make a baby...but with a large shift going from men turning women into wives/mothers to turning women into baby mamas have to do with the shift of being bad by myself? Or are women to blame for giving up the ass before he "put a ring on it" and essentially putting themselves in this situation to become a baby mama instead of a bride? Even more confusing...if she IS groomed to be a future Susie Homemaker, does wait until he put a ring on it and she did wait until marriage to become a mommy and she becomes Susie Homemaker (which is what her mother prepared her for) - no outside job - just cooking, cleaning, children, tending to the affairs of the house, etc. and he leaves her...what is she to do then? I know she goes out and gets a job - essentially forcing her to become "Ms Independent". Do you think this would have an effect on her mentality: will she become one with the newly Ms Independent or will she always crave to be Susie Homemaker?
My brain is starting to hurt...lol. Goodnight!!!
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