Blog #14 - New Jersey...

So, you might not know that I was born in NY but live in New Jersey. I somehow wound up on urbandictionary.com when I was googling something and for shits and giggles, decided to urbandictionary New Jersey. This definition here, is the best one I've ever read. Please note that I did not write ANY OF THIS:
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i'm from jersey, have been all my life.

i'm gonna spend a lot of time writing this entry. i'll give you everything about jersey, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

first.. new jersey people are conceited. it's true. we hate everyone else. and we think we are better than everyone else. and we never stop talking about how great new jersey is. then we tell people to "shut the fuck up" when they tell us all we talk about is jersey. i just recently was in the south .. and i can honestly say, that i do think i am better than them. it's not my fault.. it's cause i'm from jersey. my friends and i were the rudest, most obnoxious people there. everyone just stared at us. then we saw other rude people, and i asked them where they were from. obviously, they said jersey.

why are new jersey people self centered? because we have reason to be. first of all, some of the most famous people have come from our state. just to name A FEW.. tom cruise, frank sinatra, bruce springsteen, kevin smith, whitney houston, martha stewart, lauryn hill, catch 22, anne hathaway, queen latifa, my chemical romance, jack nicholson, bruce willis, the four seasons, danny devito .. and the list goes on. not only do we have famous people.. we rank in the top 10 of smartest states every year.

not only are we smart and famous.. we're rich. bergen, somerset, morris, and hunterdon counties rank as in the counties top 15 richest counties. and despite the slums of newark and camden which are some of the countries most dangerous places to live, we have 4 of the top 10 safest cities to live in the us.

and we smell? yeah, we do. new jersey smells like ASS. on the turnpike, between exits 14 and 17. that's like, 5 percent of the entire state.. bayonne, port newark, and secaucus. and the surrounding areas. that's it. the majority of the state smells like trees. because the majority of the state is trees. in fact, three of new jersey's cities rank in the countries top 10 least polluted cities. so shove it.

new jersey is ideal. i live 20 minutes away from new york city and an hour away from the famous jersey shore, (the shore is amazing. you think your beach is better? fuck you. why do you think mtv's true life had an episode titled "i'm a jersey shore girl." because it's the best fucking shore in the country.), and two hours away from philadelphia. and it's a 4 hour drive to washington dc. and 15 minutes to the nearest mall -- 20 minutes to the next, and a half hour to the next. i just counted .. 7 malls within a half hour of my house. find me another state that has all that to offer.

yeah, we have accents. who gives a shit? everyone has an accent. and no, we don't say "joisey." we do say "cawfee and tawk." but i can tell you it's a hell of a better accent than you bitches from the south.

and we can't drive? no. you can't drive. like i said before, i was just in the south. the speed limit sign read: speed limit 60.. minimum 45. what? that's why you people can't drive. who has a minimum speed limit? new jersey drivers like pissing other people off solely because of the reputation. this is what we will do.. just letting you know .. if we see out of state license plates, we'll tailgate your ass. probably because you're doing the speed limit and we want to go 20 over. then, we'll cut you off.. and go slow in front of you. because we can. and because when you go home you're gonna complain about us. we like it, it doesn't bother us. that's what we want.

we like fast things. things move too slow in other states. you can tell that someone's from new jersey by the way they walk. they walk really fast and have a strut that says "i'm better than you."

music scene? amazing. bloomfield ave cafe .. starlight ballroom .. enough said. we have the best local bands, the best punk scene, and probably 97 percent of the country's emo kids. don't believe me? read "nothing feels good. punk rock, teenagers, and emo." count how many jersey references are in that book. and the rap scene? i don't know much about it .. but i know it's there. and i know it's good.

and obviously the club scene. you don't know techno music until you come into new jersey.. SERIOUSLY. "we don't pump our gas .. we pump our fists." just shut the fuck up until you go to seaside boardwalk. you'll probably see some of the trashiest, dirtiest, skankiest girls.. and some of the most guido, gelled up hair, armani exchange wearing boys that take too many steroids and have have too much sex .. but they know how to dance better than anyone you ever met in your life. so yeah, the stereotype that all jersey chicks are trashy, is true .. if you go to seaside. that's pretty much it. the rest of the state is full of confident, beautiful girls that speak their mind. and the guys outside of seaside are pretty decent too.

majority of jersey people are italian.. or wish they were .. and drink too much beer and smoke too much pot. but, we all love eachother. i was at a party the other day and i met these guys that were best friends .. a scene kid, an abercrombie wearing kid, and a ghetto kid. why? because we don't give a fuck about labels. we throw the sickest parties .. in the woods.

what else? giants, jets, nets, and of course the devils. they're better than you. so shut the fuck up. and we have more yankee fans than new york city. come to jersey with a sox hat on .. i dare you.

hungry? don't worry. we have 24 hour diners. a million of them. we also have hoboken which has some of the finest places to eat. and you have not had real italian food until you come here. okay? shut up.

and oh yeah, we say "yo." often. and "fuck." i don't complain that you say "y'all" so don't complain that i say "yo."

to sum up new jersey. yeah, most of the stereotypes are true, probably for about 5 percent of the state. the rest of the state is beautiful. and yeah, we hate you. we love ourselves. wanna know why? because all you bitches hate us. how would you feel if the other 49 states spent all their time talking shit? we deserve to be our own country cause we're that cool.